Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
