Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
