She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
