The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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