We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
