I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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