**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
