Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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