he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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