I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
