I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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