Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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