Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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