i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
