so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
