as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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