I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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