dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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