TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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