This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
