i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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