I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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