She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
