I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
