I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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