I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
COCAINE IS GR8
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
