i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
