You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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