she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
