sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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