Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I need moral support for this bender
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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