Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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