Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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