addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
