You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
