Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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