you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Come share oat with me in your robe
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
