even my farts smell like vagina
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
