did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love you. Go after that dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
