i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
