the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
