The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
