I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
