No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
