i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My life is pants optional.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
