Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
