If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
