Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
