Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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