Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
